AlexSchmidt(y) Blog

My website is ALEXSCHMIDTY.COM. I work at Cracked and contribute to WitStream. I made most everything here.
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Royal Baby Name Roots by ohmygodwaytoolong

Happy birthday to that prince kid.

I probably made this, like, a year ago!

cracked:

The real-life RoboCop statue isn’t ready for the public quite yet, but in our minds, Detroit’s top cop is all over every inch of that city already. Between RoboCop's Ronny Cox speeches and deathbot stairs fails, the movie nails a near-future Detroit that becomes its very own character in the movie. So this design from Cracked member Toadlicker combines all of the Dystopian Motor City’s technologically reconstructed faces into one design. [GET IT HERE]

I am a model yes yes very seksi

cracked:

The real-life RoboCop statue isn’t ready for the public quite yet, but in our minds, Detroit’s top cop is all over every inch of that city already. Between RoboCop's Ronny Cox speeches and deathbot stairs fails, the movie nails a near-future Detroit that becomes its very own character in the movie. So this design from Cracked member Toadlicker combines all of the Dystopian Motor City’s technologically reconstructed faces into one design. [GET IT HERE]

I am a model yes yes very seksi

Forget “CGI/mo-cap is the devil” versus “CGI/mo-cap is the future”. Either way you don’t get a human, clumsy moment like that little trip/kick without live actors. Or without them putting in three days of exhausting-to-the-point-of-sloppy stunt fighting just to get that overall hallway sequence right.
Anyway I’d never seen Oldboy till the amazing Dave got us watching it this weekend, and the storytelling’s even cleverer than the fighting. Most grounded psychotic movie I’ve ever seen.

Forget “CGI/mo-cap is the devil” versus “CGI/mo-cap is the future”. Either way you don’t get a human, clumsy moment like that little trip/kick without live actors. Or without them putting in three days of exhausting-to-the-point-of-sloppy stunt fighting just to get that overall hallway sequence right.

Anyway I’d never seen Oldboy till the amazing Dave got us watching it this weekend, and the storytelling’s even cleverer than the fighting. Most grounded psychotic movie I’ve ever seen.

I don’t know how I missed Will doing this when he did it but 1) it’s the best idea 2) there are 6,157 comments 3) I’m about to waste most of the rest of my weekend reading them.

I don’t know how I missed Will doing this when he did it but 1) it’s the best idea 2) there are 6,157 comments 3) I’m about to waste most of the rest of my weekend reading them.

tomorrowsofyesterday:

So @TheCapitolPN tweeted this
image

which was promptly deleted. (G-Bb-A-D are the notes to Rue’s whistle.)

But if you had clicked inspect element before it was deleted

image

"You silence our voices, but we are still heard."

HOW COOL IS THIS MARKETING?!?! Like the rebels are hacking into the capitol’s twitter!!!!

(Thanks toastbabeis and mockingjaysource for noticing it and jenliamjosh for reblogging)

If every new movie has to copy The Hunger Games, let them please copy Internet-ing like this. (via finalbossform)

cracked:

Four Cracked staffers saw Planet of the Apes: This One, and after a couple drinks they realized acting is no longer just an actor’s craft. It’s become a special effect.
WTF? Andy Serkis Skyped His Planet of the Apes Performance

#4. Actors Are Interchangeable Now (in Their Own Film)
For example: Judy Greer is technically in this movie. She’s an amazing voice actor, and at least a decent regular actor, so I was excited to see her in this movie, too. Only she wasn’t in this movie, not really — she doesn’t say or do anything. But I guess they mapped her face for one of the ape ladies, and that was enough to slap her name on some marketing. … No human actors carry over from the last Planet of the Apes movie. Weirdly enough, the summer’s other blockbuster, Transformers 4, also purged every actor from the previous films in the series. This used to be the clearest sign of a disastrous sequel. But today it’s cruise control for record profits.

Read More

Co-makin’ stuff all over Cracked today. This one’s another me/Josh/Dave/Robert exploration of the latest Hollywood ‘achievement’.

cracked:

Four Cracked staffers saw Planet of the Apes: This One, and after a couple drinks they realized acting is no longer just an actor’s craft. It’s become a special effect.

WTF? Andy Serkis Skyped His Planet of the Apes Performance

#4. Actors Are Interchangeable Now (in Their Own Film)

For example: Judy Greer is technically in this movie. She’s an amazing voice actor, and at least a decent regular actor, so I was excited to see her in this movie, too. Only she wasn’t in this movie, not really — she doesn’t say or do anything. But I guess they mapped her face for one of the ape ladies, and that was enough to slap her name on some marketing. … No human actors carry over from the last Planet of the Apes movie. Weirdly enough, the summer’s other blockbuster, Transformers 4, also purged every actor from the previous films in the series. This used to be the clearest sign of a disastrous sequel. But today it’s cruise control for record profits.

Read More

Co-makin’ stuff all over Cracked today. This one’s another me/Josh/Dave/Robert exploration of the latest Hollywood ‘achievement’.

Do you think you'll run out of Alien Gifs eventually?

@georgeisasillygoose

brightblueinky:

cracked:

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We got the first couple from aliensandpredators and then I’m making more. Whatever it takes to get you to ACCEPT OUR EGGS

This is the best reaction I’ve ever seen to site problems.

Happy anniversary of the time Cracked got hit with particularly stubborn malware and I had the very best time having fun with it.

unpops:

So if that’s a supervolcano…

…why are we all super chill about the one sitting under Yellowstone right now?

THIS WEEK ON THE PODCAST: Do you have what it takes to survive a mega earthquake? Will the zombies just kind of wear themselves out? What good is hiding in a basement during a nuclear blast if the radiation will just kill all of us a week later anyway? Host Adam Tod Brown welcomes Brett Rader and Cracked editor Alex Schmidt to discuss all of this and more!

Apocalyptic Scenarios You’d Probably Survive

Neglected to mention on this that I can survive any goddamn tomato shortage scenario you can throw at me (they are gross).

This band cropped up on this week’s Cracked Podcast and if music = food they’re on the correct side of indie’s sweet/salty spectrum.